One more day...

It's been such a long time when I wrote here. Years had passed but the grief still remains.. The grief that won't go away. I'm still here trying to survive and live happily and that I remind my self each passing time-- One more day.  

Don’t get me wrong, I love the life that God gave me. I know I don't deserve it and I should be grateful that at least I'm still here standing today but if there's a way out or I have a chance to ever back out.. and escape life,  I'll take it without hesitation. This world is desperately broken and so do I–

Sana mahintay ko yung araw na ako naman. 
Sana kapag pwede na, pwede pa.. 

THE POWER OF PRAYER

Proverbs 18:4 "A person's words can be life-giving water; words of true wisdom are as refreshing as a bubbling brook".

Mark 11:24 "Therefore I tell you, whatever you ask for in prayer, believe that you have received it, and it will be yours."

When I was at the hospital MAS lalo kong napatunayan kung gaani ka-powerful ang mga salita at panalangin. 

When people messaged me that they were praying for me alam ko sa sarili kong hindi talaga ako okay during that time but hearing and knowing that someone is praying for you parang may instant healing, young may parte sa sarili mo na unit unting gumagaling. 

Don't get me wrong, hindi obligasyon ng tao na immessage o kamustahin tayo pag may pinagdadaanan tayo pero sobrang making portion nun para lumaban at magkaroon ng ganang mabuhay.
Naalala ko, twing may magpipray over sakin and they laid hands on me whether it's physical or video call.. naiiyak ako, hindi ko mapigilan kasi pakiramdam ko may yumayakap sakin. 

Yung yakap na punong puno ng pagmamagahal na hindi sumusuko. And I know it was God and He used those people to make me feel I wasn't fighting alone. 

So, today I want to encouarge everyone that may we always choose to leave people with kind words feeling more loved may pinagdadaanan man sila o wala, lalong lalo na ang manalangin para sakanila dahil dun din sila niyayakap ng Panginoon. 

PS. To all the people who fought with me in prayers. 
I owe half of my life to you, isa kayong biyaya sakin. 

Magaling na po ako kasi MAGALING Siya 🙌
To God be ALL the praises and glory. 

WEAKNESS

 

2020 has been tough and a heartbreaking year for me. I received harsh words from people I don't know. I even got a death threat from them to stay away from someone and get lost. 

Para akong sinasaksak ng paulit-ulit..

 
As my immune system weakens and platelet count decreases that have been confirmed as dengue. I was medicated at home for 11 days because my family didn't want to send me to the hospital for I also have symptoms of Covid 19 (severe headache, high fever, and bleeding gums) We didn't know back then that it was dengue. They didn't want me to be isolated and be alone.

On all those days, I felt like giving up because I was so tired of taking medicines. It's just that I just want to sleep and never wake up for it would be better for me to just go, no more pain and bleeding gums. Besides, I long for peace of mind above all. 

Eventually, I was admitted for 6 days at iniisip ko noon may purpose pa ako sa Lord kaya hindi ako pwedeng mawala at hindi sa sakit lang matatapos ang buhay ko, for I firmly believed that Jesus heals.

Walang araw na hindi ako niyakap ng Diyos. It's His love and grace that keeps me going, tinawid Niya ako sa season na ito and niremind ako ng paulit ulit.. "Sapat ang grasya niya saakin", sa tuwing tinatanong ko kung bakit ako mahina. 

2 Corinthians 12:9 My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.

Nakayanan ko lahat hindi dahil malakas at kaya ko, kundi KAYA NIYA at wala Siyang hindi kayang gawin. Kaya ngayon kwento nalang lahat ng ito.

Si Lord lang ang MALAKAS. 💪 Glory to You alone, Jesus!

TAGPUAN

 

"At hindi Ka lumayo.. Nung ako'y yung sumusuko" ♪♬

Ang sarap sa pakiramdam ng ganyan no? Yung kahit anong mangyari may isang taong hindi ka lalayuan at iiwan kahit pa sukuan  mo yung sarili mo.

Kaya lang sa mundong meron tayo

Isang beses kalang napagod,

Isang beses kalang sumuko, 

Isang beses kalang bumitaw,

Isang beses kalang umayaw,

Hinayaan kana agad.. 

Sheket yorn? Wala eh, ganun sa tao. Nasusukat lang sa isang beses kumpara sa maraming pagkakataon kang kumapit at lumaban.

But let me tell you this. The God that I know --who never gives up.

The Lord of all Lords, kahit kelan hindi mo mararamdamang naiwan ka, na napagod sayo, na binitawan ka. Hindi ka lalayuan at lalong hindi ka hahayaan.

Kaya I firmly believe na kapag na kay Lord ka, 

matatagpuan mo din yung Pag-ibig na kaya kang ipaglaban. 

"At nagbago ang mundo.. Nung ako'y pinaglaban Mo" ♬♪

Grabe, nakakaiyak.. hanap tayo ng hanap ng mga taong lalaban para sa atin, hintay tayo ng hintay sa mga taong ni sa sarili nila hindi sila sigurado. Tanong tayo ng tanong kung kelan natin matatagpuan at kelan tayo matatagpuan ng para sa atin.

Pero ang totoo, matagal na tayong pinaglalaban, matagal na tayong  hinihintay. Matagal ng may sigurado at yun ay ang katotohanang bago tayo naghanap. 

NATAGPUAN NA TAYO ♥

PAUBAYA

 

Inspired by the song:  PAUBAYA ♫♬

Naranasan mo nabang magpaubaya sa isang bagay na antagal mong hinintay at pinagdasal. Yung bagay na mahal na mahal mo tapos nung abot-kamay mo na. Nalaman mo na may MAS nangangailangan kesa sayo, kaya kahit alam mong deserve mo yun. Ibibigay mo nalang sakanya kasi hindi mo rin naman matitiis na magkaroon kung merong nasasaktang iba. 

Pero mas malalim pa diyan yung pagpapaubayang nasaksihan ko. At yun ay yung tapat na Pagmamahal ng Diyos sa atin...

When first heard the song, I was reminded by the Book of Hosea that speaks about the Faithful Love of God to the Unfaithful people (To us)

Ang Diyos ang kailangan pero hindi ang Mahal.

Sa una palang, Diyos and kasama pero hanap ay iba.

You know why this world is acting so broken? 

because we have forgotten the source of love, who is Jesus Christ. Hinahanap natin ang ating halaga at pagmamahal sa maling lugar, tao at bagay. 

Hosea 1:2 GNT 

"When the Lord first spoke to Israel through Hosea, he said to Hosea, "Go and get married; your wife will be unfaithful, and your children will be just like her. In the same way, my people have left me and become unfaithful"

We have left the Lord and became unfaithful because we are so attached to the world.

Hosea 11:8 GNT 

"How can I give you up, Israel? How can I abandon you? Could I ever destroy as I did Admah, or treat you as I did Zeboiim? My heart will not let me do it! My love for you is too strong!

But you know what?

God's love for us is too strong to leave us wounded. Kahit hindi Siya ang unang pinipili at kahit iba ang ating hinahanap.

To you who is broken and hurting within,

I believe with all my heart, you deserve the Love that comes from the Lord. The Love that something, someone or the world can't fulfill.

Yung Pagmamahal na hindi mo kailangang magpaubaya kasi paulit-ulit kang pipiliin at yayakapin. 

Yung Pagmamahal na humihilom sa mga sugat na hindi nakikita.

Tahan na....

The Lord is waiting for you to go back to His arms. His love won't hurt and He can give you Perfect Peace that this world cannot give. 

I can testify because I've experienced so much 💕

Ang Diyos ang iyong kailangan dahil Siya ang unang nagmahal 

We love because HE first loved us.  1 John 4:19

DEAR WOMAN OF GOD

YOU NEED TO KNOW THIS..

• I hope we all stand in the truth that PURITY in an impure world still exists.

• That just because you are alone doesn't mean you are lonely. Masarap paring yakapin yung alone moments with the Lord kasi ito yung magiging testimony mo patungkol sa PURONG PAGHIHINTAY, walang sideline. (You and the Lord alone in your waiting season)

• Na hindi ka single dahil walang nagpupursue sayo, kundi dahil naniniwala kang ang totoong Pag-big ay may tamang lugar (in His presence), tamang proseso (His ways) at tamang panahon (His own time).

• Na ang buhay ay hindi tumitigil kung hindi mo nakuha ang mga pangarap mo dahil wala ng mas gaganda pa sa PANGARAP ng Lord para sayo.

• Na hindi sa laki at gara ng mga bagay na natatanggap mo nakabase ang iyong halaga. 

• Na hindi nasusukat sa edad, kung ano na dapat ang naabot at nakuha mo sa buhay.

• Na walang saysay ituloy ang kahit anong bagay na hindi tumutupad sa MISYON na ibinigay ng Diyos.

• Na hindi natatapos ang PURPOSE mo the moment after the wedding because marriage is not the end goal,  

 Jesus is the end goal. ♡🏁

I press on to reach the end of the race and receive the heavenly prize of the

 upward call of God in Christ Jesus.  Philippians 3:14  NLT

GOD'S WILL

  

Here's what I've learned during those times that I kept on fighting

 for my dreams. It took a lot of years for me to realize and 

to accept na kapag will ni Lord...

• It complements the word of God at may purpose

For it is God who works in you to will and to act in order to fulfill his good purpose. Philippians 2:13 NIV

Many are the plans in the mind of a man, but it is the purpose of the Lord that will stand. Proverbs 19:21 NIV

And we know that ALL things, God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.   

   Romans 8:28 NIV

• Full package, it's not cheap but it cost you nothing.

• It's a blessing, iaabot Nya sa kamay mo, you don't have to chase, you don't have to run after.. it will just land in front of you, kukunin mo nalang

• Hindi mo kailangang pilitin, hindi mo kailangang mamili kasi ibibigay nya both, yung gusto mo at yung gusto nya para sayo because it will glorify Him more above all

• It has peace, not pressure. Makakatulog ka sa gabi ng mapayapa, knowing that it didn't break His heart just to fulfill it

• May tamang panahon at may tamang proseso and you don't have to compromise your faith nor sacrifice your self worth just to have it

• Alam mong PARA SAYO because it has your name on it. You don't have to fight for a spot and you don't have to compete

• Nobody can stop it, kahit anong gawin mo o nang ibang tao walang makakapigil sa kalooban ng Diyos. ISIAH 60:22 "When the time is right, I, the Lord will make it happen" but it's not us who fulfills the word of the Lord. It's the Lord who fulfills His word and we partner with Him. 

END OF MYSELF

"Whoever wants to be my disciple, must deny themselves, take up their cross daily and follow me"
                                                                                               Luke 9:23 NIV

This is a beautiful reminder to me of faith and obedience. Totoo naman, sino ba namang susunod kung di mo kayang isuko yung mga pansarili mong gusto, kung di mo kayang pasanin ang ang krus ararw araw, piliin si Kristo ng paulit ulit at sumunod habang nakapikit kasi di mo alam kung hanggang saan ka dadalhin ng pasunod mo.

Kung tutuusin kaya naman. Nung sinuko ko ang buhay ko sa Lord, He became my life, my Master at lahat ng areas ng buhay ko nakadepende sa kanya even my wildest dreams and deepest desires. 

Pero  habang naglalakad ako sa daan kung saan malubak, masakit, magulo at parang walang hanggan ang dulo. Napapatanong ako, "hanggang saan Lord? "Matagal paba? "Malayo paba?" kasi nakakapagod, hindi ko na alam saan ang direksyon pero alamo wala nang mas sasarap pa na sundin si Lord regardless of  what you feel and whatever the situation kasi you know He is your greatest reward after all. 

Ikaw hangang saan mo kayang sumunod? 

Napagtanto ko na kapag sumunod ka madami kang iiwanan maaring ito ay lugar, tao o isang magandang pangarap pero ano man ang hingiin sayo ng Lord sa pagsunod mo makaka asa kang hindi dun matatapos ang PANGAKO... 

TRUE LOVE WAITS

Dear "The rest of my life",


It's 1am today and still talking to God sa mga bagay na pinapagawa nya sa akin because I am entering a new journey of my life now. Kinakausap ko sya mga bagay na kinikwestyon ko sa sarili ko kasi alam kong mahina ako at may mga limitasyon at hindi ko lubos maisip kung "Bakit ako" ako na hindi kaya yung sarili, di magaling magsalita, mahiyain at lampa pero alamo madaming ipinaalala sa akin ang Lord patungkol sa Pagmamahal nya sakin at yun yung naging daan sa pagtugon ko sa pagtawag nya. Yung pagamamahal at biyaya nya sobra sobra —para tanggihan ko siya kaya kahit andami kong takot o paghihinala sa sarili ko alam kong isusustain nya ako at tatapusin nya ang yugto ng buhay ko ng naaayon sa kung anong gusto nya akong maging para sa kanyang kaharian at para sa kanyang Pangalan.

Kamusta kana? I hope you're doing okay at kung hindi sorry dahil wala ako sa tabi mo para damayan ka, para pakinggan ka o para yakapin ka. I guess way ito ni Lord for you to know Him and seek Him more para marealize mong walang ibang gagamot sayo kundi siya, para maisip mong walang magpapatahan sayo kundi siya. Walang ibang kokompleto sayo, kundi siya... SIYA na hindi napapagod, hindi nauubos at hindi nagbabago. 

I want you to know that I am making an effort to be the right woman for you. I am embracing my season now, the forming, the pruning and the molding at lahat ng mga bagay na gustong gawin ni Lord sa buhay ko, niyayakap ko kasi alam kong para yun sa ikabubuti ko -- tutulungan ako nung maging isang babaeng pangarap nya para sakin. SANA IKAW DIN, sana ikaw din hinahayaan mo syang matupad yung kalooban at pangarap nya para sayo.

Minsan diko maiwasang mag isip kung nag eexist kapa ba talaga, baka kasi wala ng katulad mo --Yung pinagpipray ko hehe pero siguro naman buhay kapa at kung sakali man. Gusto kong malaman mo na I am so full of the Love of Jesus na hindi ko mahintay yung tamang panahon na ma-iishare ko yun sayo. Hindi ko mahintay yung tamang panahon na yung pinagdadasal ko ay katabi at kasama ko ng magdasal para sa ibang tao. Hindi ko mahintay na magkaroon ng kasamang mahalin ang dakilang Diyos na meron tayo. Pero syempre hihintayin padin kita at kung nasaan ka man ngayon, Please magparamdam kanaman Hahaha! 

I won't compromise. I won't settle and I'll make sure na yung paghihintay na ito ay magiging isang testimony sa ibang tao kung gaano kamakapangyarihan ang panalangin --na may totoong Pag-ibig na kayang maghintay, magtiis at magparaya sakabila ng mahabang panahon (wow kala mo talaga) kaya kahit hindi ko pa nakikita, kahit hindi ko nararamdaman at kahit hindi ko naiintindihan alam kong darating ka. Darating ka at hindi ako maiinip..

When the time is right..
 I know you'll come and find me 

and I will be here waiting. 

For now, I will hug you tight in my prayers

 and know that You are loved forever 💕

Love,

Mariel. 🥀

People leave, Life ends but 

Love doesn't..

Kaya hindi totoo yung kasabihang..

"kapag Mahal ka mag-istay sayo, 

kapag mahal ka hindi ka iiwan, 

kapag mahal ka hindi mawawala sayo.."

kasi reality pwede kapa din namang magmahal mula sa malayo, 

pwede kapa din namang magmahal kahit wala sa tabi mo.

dahil ang Pag-ibig ay hindi tumitigil kung hindi mo na mahahawakan, hindi mo na mayayakap o hindi mo na makikita ito dahil..

 ANG TOTOONG PAGMAMAHAL, HINDI NATATAPOS  

                  (tulad ng Pagmamahal sa atin ng Diyos)

Love never ends.  1 Corinthians 13:8